Culture Shock

Good evening,

I am writing from Atlanta, its a beautiful city but burrrr its cold. I know I haven't written in a while..........life is all I can say. Work has kept me quite busy this year and ohhh yeah I'm sort of seeing someone-so that is taking quite a bit of my time and causing me to adjust my schedule.


Let me tell you about my culture shock this weekend. "I" and I are still talking and he is a good guy I'm still taking it sort of slow. Anyway, since we met "I" has always been the one to come to my place and we either hang out there or he picks me up. This weekend he invited me to his place- don't worry he doesn't live alone :) His older brother and family live there and his father is visiting. So I drove over to "I's" place yesterday afternoon. Not sure why but I was quite nervous. I got there and he prepared some food for me. We were sitting in the living room eating our food when one of his dad's friends came over.


"I" let the gentleman in; I was sitting down eating but I acknowledged the man and said hello and he responded. "I" went upstairs to call his dad afterwards, "I" went into the kitchen. I quickly picked up my plate and went into the kitchen as well. Then "I's" dad came downstairs and started talking to his friend while "I" and I chated in the kitchen.


Here comes the awkward moment, "I" and I were leaving to go to the store to rent a movie to watch. As we were walking out I wanted to greet "I's" dad who I had met once before however, the men were still talking so I did not want to disturb them. Then "I" introduced me to his father, I went over and shook his hand and also decided to shake his friend's hand. I thought all was cool- his dad was like ohh, I met you last time and I agreed. As we were walking out his dad and his dad's friend started talking to "I" (who by the way is from a different African country) of course I couldn't understand the language so I just stood off to the side......when we were in the car "I" started talking about how men and women from his country greet each other. I said yeah I know one of my closest friends is from the same country. He then went on to ask how I greet my friend's parents I said by shaking their hands. He asked why I didn't follow my friend's country's style of greeting. I told him that my friend's parents understood that I was not from their country and it was never a big deal....at this point however, I was wondering why we were having this conversation.


He then went on to tell me that my "greeting style" was what his dad and his dad's friend were talking about when we were on our way out.......I felt so awkward and didn't know how to respond. Apparently, his dad's friend was asking "is this how she greets?" and telling "I" that he should show me the correct way. uuuuuhhhh I was boiling- because it was not like I was trying to be disrepectful but I felt that was how I was being potrayed. It upset me that someone that does not know me, does not know my culture etc should have something to say about me. To make matters worse "I" said that when we got back to the house I should greet them correctly. Now you know I was boiling-how could I have been expected to do something I was never told to do in the first place?


When we got back I told "I" that I thought it was best we called it a night. I really was thrown for a loop at the way things were turning out. I had actually taken the time out of my sunday afternoon and drove out of my way to see this dude and he was acting like this.

We talked or argued for a bit....then we finally compromised..."I" apologised and explained that it didn't really matter to his dad. It was his dad's friend making the issue bigger than it needed to be. He also told me he would have shown me the right way if we were going to a big family gathering etc. I also understood that I should be open to learning other people's cultures, go with the flow, not to take things personally and not be so defensive.