Redefining Me & Christian Dating

Good evening,

So I started writing this blog thinking that I was chronicalling my transition from singlehood to marriage (yeah right)!!!!!!! Little did I know that I still had a lot more growing to do. Today it finally hit me- maybe my purpose is to define Christian dating & actually practice it. Last year and the year before that I thought I had mastered God's plan:- I was done with my singlehood, I was sure B was the one for me, we would start dating the Christian way (because of course he is God fearing), he would propose and we would live happily ever after.

But guess what is happening now:- I am talking to a really nice guy that is involved in the church, there are 2 other prospects that are getting more and more involved in the church and there is B who seems to be pulling away from the church. *Update- tonight I officially ended the hope of S and I being in a relationship. I told him that we could remain friends but that I could not see him anytime soon. I need a couple of months break so as not to create any further complications between the two of us. So why am I going through all of this if I know the person I am supposed to marry. I don't know and may probably never know. However, I now choose to use this as a way of glorifying God because I know my journey down the aisle will be a HUGE Testimony of God's Power, Might and Saving hand. Whether I like to admit it or not I am closer to God when I am going through tribulations, but now I am surrounded by so much male attention that sometimes I loose focus on God- the real prize.

Anyway back to my main point. I thought that by taking off 2 years of dating I had conquered the inevitable- the weakness of the flesh. I thoughtI had conquered the temptations involved in dating so I was surprised when phyiscal temptations arose with S- a guy who I was not all that attracted to. I started talking to "I" and I was hit with the same emotions. Right now I'm battling with setting limits. With both guys I made it perfectly clear that I will not have SEX before I get married and of course I was met with the "sure you are just playing hard to get we'll see how it goes!!!!" So what limits do I set if the guy agrees to wait. No kissing (I am told to be real and meet the guy half way- if I say no sex I should at least be willing to kiss the guy-right-wrong). Kissing always leads to more and more.....so what is a young Christian lady to do as she prepares herself for marriage. Well this is what I plan to undertake....finding out how to date the Christian way....Pray for me as I begin my journey :)

http://www.christian-dating-guide.com/character-traits.shtml

I started with the above website, and here is what I found. The first section was on character traits:

So why are character traits so important?When you select a dating mate as potential marriage partner, you are choosing far more than a bed-fellow and companion for your recreation. You are selecting a partner in a permanent building enterprise who will be among other things:
1. The other parent of your children. This requires christian character traits, personality traits and the intelligence necessary to guide and direct the development of growing children.
2. One who will have rather complete access to your bank account and credit. Such a trust requires not only honesty, but enough discipline to keep from squandering needed family resources for personal whims.
3. Even more important, that person will have intimate access to you; your innermost thoughts and feelings, your hopes and plans, your ambitions and aspirations. By encouraging you when you need it most, or by lending a hand or dragging his feet when the going gets tough, he may be able to make or break you. The way your mate gets along, or does not get along with your friends, neighbors and business associates can do much to determine your social and professional success.

Your parents may have had more influence upon you, but this you could not help. No one else will mean so much for your future as the one whom you choose as your mate.
Remember that you are choosing more than a companion for fun. You are choosing someone to do a total job; a job which requires a high level of integrity, competence, self-discipline and finesse. This choice is one of the most important decisions which you will ever make.

To marry a person with serious personality or character traits defects is not to help him. Usually it will make the condition worse. The following are some important questions you can start asking about character traits:
Do you both practice socially acceptable sex standards?
Are your manners acceptable to the social group with which you will associate?
Are you both sufficiently truthful and reliable to make possible good relationships with each other and with your associates?
Are you both satisfactorily honest regarding property?
Do you both have a kindly, humane attitude toward other people?

Till next time, Gnite
Faith