NOT MY TIME BUT GOD'S TIME :)

Sorry for the long break. I thought when I started writing this blog it would be about me chronologically detailing how I moved into the next phase of my life. Little did I know that in a few weeks I would be facing the toughest month of 2008 (spiritually speaking). This month has tested me in ways I did not know were possible. At the beginning of the year we had a visiting pastor at my church he prophesied that October would be the month for my family and I. So I wrote it down to see if it would come to pass. So throughout the year I have been keeping this in mind. I was so excited when October started and was waiting for the manifestation to show up. I will tell you what showed up-financial issues at home, issues with B surfaced, issues with my job and issues at church-can you imagine even issues at church- I was being tested in all areas of my life. I felt so overwhelmed and defeated. I could not even begin to write my thoughts down on paper. Despite all these issues I am writing again, evidence that God will see you through all things and He will show you how powerful you can be when you allow Him to work in your life. Life will always throw you the unexpected but if you truly believe that God is a sovereign God, that He knows everything before it happens then you have to have the assurance and security that He will see you through everything you face.

Right now, I truly believe that B is the one for me. However, I know it is not the right time. How do I know this you may ask? Well I have prayed about it, fasted over it, questioned God numerous times and have received many signs. Don’t get me wrong I have had my moments of doubt and probably will still have many more. However, at the end of it all when I look into my life:- look at where I plan to go and see what doors God is opening he is still the face I see. In my moments of frustration I ask myself whether I am wasting time waiting for B. I mean he is all that I asked for and more:- he is after God’s heart, he is different-its hard to explain, he is a private person like I am. He is thoughtful, has a good heart and he is kind. However, it also aggravates me that I cannot read his mind; I definitely know he likes me but he does not really show it. I always feel like I have so much to tell him or that he has so much to tell me but there is this barrier between the two of us. It’s like both of us are scared of being hurt…letting down all our barriers or safe guards. I ask God to guide us and help us in this matter.

I also have the assurance from His word that in His time-not a second too early or too late His Will will be done in both our lives. Things don’t work out according to our own plans. I find myself frustrated and agitated when I try to make things work according to my power. I find myself giving B tests that I know in my heart he will fail-I guess to prove a point that he is just like the others. I know his weakness-it is phone calls-yet each time I tell myself I really want to talk to him I call and then get mad when he doesn’t pick up. If I really want a response from him I should text or talk to him in person when I have the opportunity. Please God help me in this area. According to your word it is the man that goes after the woman so help me be still. The next time I feel agitated and have to do something in a hurry help me breathe and seek You first O’God.

My prayer: O'God may Your Mighty works be done in our lives. Holy Spirit may we see your presence move in our lives now and forevermore. Gives us the strength we need each and everyday for your word says man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. You deserve all glory and all honor thank you for your continued mercies in the Mighty name of Jesus I pray with thanksgiving in my heart Amen and thank you.