Good evening,
I am writing from Atlanta, its a beautiful city but burrrr its cold. I know I haven't written in a while..........life is all I can say. Work has kept me quite busy this year and ohhh yeah I'm sort of seeing someone-so that is taking quite a bit of my time and causing me to adjust my schedule.
Let me tell you about my culture shock this weekend. "I" and I are still talking and he is a good guy I'm still taking it sort of slow. Anyway, since we met "I" has always been the one to come to my place and we either hang out there or he picks me up. This weekend he invited me to his place- don't worry he doesn't live alone :) His older brother and family live there and his father is visiting. So I drove over to "I's" place yesterday afternoon. Not sure why but I was quite nervous. I got there and he prepared some food for me. We were sitting in the living room eating our food when one of his dad's friends came over.
"I" let the gentleman in; I was sitting down eating but I acknowledged the man and said hello and he responded. "I" went upstairs to call his dad afterwards, "I" went into the kitchen. I quickly picked up my plate and went into the kitchen as well. Then "I's" dad came downstairs and started talking to his friend while "I" and I chated in the kitchen.
Here comes the awkward moment, "I" and I were leaving to go to the store to rent a movie to watch. As we were walking out I wanted to greet "I's" dad who I had met once before however, the men were still talking so I did not want to disturb them. Then "I" introduced me to his father, I went over and shook his hand and also decided to shake his friend's hand. I thought all was cool- his dad was like ohh, I met you last time and I agreed. As we were walking out his dad and his dad's friend started talking to "I" (who by the way is from a different African country) of course I couldn't understand the language so I just stood off to the side......when we were in the car "I" started talking about how men and women from his country greet each other. I said yeah I know one of my closest friends is from the same country. He then went on to ask how I greet my friend's parents I said by shaking their hands. He asked why I didn't follow my friend's country's style of greeting. I told him that my friend's parents understood that I was not from their country and it was never a big deal....at this point however, I was wondering why we were having this conversation.
He then went on to tell me that my "greeting style" was what his dad and his dad's friend were talking about when we were on our way out.......I felt so awkward and didn't know how to respond. Apparently, his dad's friend was asking "is this how she greets?" and telling "I" that he should show me the correct way. uuuuuhhhh I was boiling- because it was not like I was trying to be disrepectful but I felt that was how I was being potrayed. It upset me that someone that does not know me, does not know my culture etc should have something to say about me. To make matters worse "I" said that when we got back to the house I should greet them correctly. Now you know I was boiling-how could I have been expected to do something I was never told to do in the first place?
When we got back I told "I" that I thought it was best we called it a night. I really was thrown for a loop at the way things were turning out. I had actually taken the time out of my sunday afternoon and drove out of my way to see this dude and he was acting like this.
We talked or argued for a bit....then we finally compromised..."I" apologised and explained that it didn't really matter to his dad. It was his dad's friend making the issue bigger than it needed to be. He also told me he would have shown me the right way if we were going to a big family gathering etc. I also understood that I should be open to learning other people's cultures, go with the flow, not to take things personally and not be so defensive.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Redefining Me & Christian Dating
Good evening,
So I started writing this blog thinking that I was chronicalling my transition from singlehood to marriage (yeah right)!!!!!!! Little did I know that I still had a lot more growing to do. Today it finally hit me- maybe my purpose is to define Christian dating & actually practice it. Last year and the year before that I thought I had mastered God's plan:- I was done with my singlehood, I was sure B was the one for me, we would start dating the Christian way (because of course he is God fearing), he would propose and we would live happily ever after.
But guess what is happening now:- I am talking to a really nice guy that is involved in the church, there are 2 other prospects that are getting more and more involved in the church and there is B who seems to be pulling away from the church. *Update- tonight I officially ended the hope of S and I being in a relationship. I told him that we could remain friends but that I could not see him anytime soon. I need a couple of months break so as not to create any further complications between the two of us. So why am I going through all of this if I know the person I am supposed to marry. I don't know and may probably never know. However, I now choose to use this as a way of glorifying God because I know my journey down the aisle will be a HUGE Testimony of God's Power, Might and Saving hand. Whether I like to admit it or not I am closer to God when I am going through tribulations, but now I am surrounded by so much male attention that sometimes I loose focus on God- the real prize.
Anyway back to my main point. I thought that by taking off 2 years of dating I had conquered the inevitable- the weakness of the flesh. I thoughtI had conquered the temptations involved in dating so I was surprised when phyiscal temptations arose with S- a guy who I was not all that attracted to. I started talking to "I" and I was hit with the same emotions. Right now I'm battling with setting limits. With both guys I made it perfectly clear that I will not have SEX before I get married and of course I was met with the "sure you are just playing hard to get we'll see how it goes!!!!" So what limits do I set if the guy agrees to wait. No kissing (I am told to be real and meet the guy half way- if I say no sex I should at least be willing to kiss the guy-right-wrong). Kissing always leads to more and more.....so what is a young Christian lady to do as she prepares herself for marriage. Well this is what I plan to undertake....finding out how to date the Christian way....Pray for me as I begin my journey :)
http://www.christian-dating-guide.com/character-traits.shtml
I started with the above website, and here is what I found. The first section was on character traits:
So why are character traits so important?When you select a dating mate as potential marriage partner, you are choosing far more than a bed-fellow and companion for your recreation. You are selecting a partner in a permanent building enterprise who will be among other things:
1. The other parent of your children. This requires christian character traits, personality traits and the intelligence necessary to guide and direct the development of growing children.
2. One who will have rather complete access to your bank account and credit. Such a trust requires not only honesty, but enough discipline to keep from squandering needed family resources for personal whims.
3. Even more important, that person will have intimate access to you; your innermost thoughts and feelings, your hopes and plans, your ambitions and aspirations. By encouraging you when you need it most, or by lending a hand or dragging his feet when the going gets tough, he may be able to make or break you. The way your mate gets along, or does not get along with your friends, neighbors and business associates can do much to determine your social and professional success.
Your parents may have had more influence upon you, but this you could not help. No one else will mean so much for your future as the one whom you choose as your mate.
Remember that you are choosing more than a companion for fun. You are choosing someone to do a total job; a job which requires a high level of integrity, competence, self-discipline and finesse. This choice is one of the most important decisions which you will ever make.
To marry a person with serious personality or character traits defects is not to help him. Usually it will make the condition worse. The following are some important questions you can start asking about character traits:
Do you both practice socially acceptable sex standards?
Are your manners acceptable to the social group with which you will associate?
Are you both sufficiently truthful and reliable to make possible good relationships with each other and with your associates?
Are you both satisfactorily honest regarding property?
Do you both have a kindly, humane attitude toward other people?
Till next time, Gnite
Faith
So I started writing this blog thinking that I was chronicalling my transition from singlehood to marriage (yeah right)!!!!!!! Little did I know that I still had a lot more growing to do. Today it finally hit me- maybe my purpose is to define Christian dating & actually practice it. Last year and the year before that I thought I had mastered God's plan:- I was done with my singlehood, I was sure B was the one for me, we would start dating the Christian way (because of course he is God fearing), he would propose and we would live happily ever after.
But guess what is happening now:- I am talking to a really nice guy that is involved in the church, there are 2 other prospects that are getting more and more involved in the church and there is B who seems to be pulling away from the church. *Update- tonight I officially ended the hope of S and I being in a relationship. I told him that we could remain friends but that I could not see him anytime soon. I need a couple of months break so as not to create any further complications between the two of us. So why am I going through all of this if I know the person I am supposed to marry. I don't know and may probably never know. However, I now choose to use this as a way of glorifying God because I know my journey down the aisle will be a HUGE Testimony of God's Power, Might and Saving hand. Whether I like to admit it or not I am closer to God when I am going through tribulations, but now I am surrounded by so much male attention that sometimes I loose focus on God- the real prize.
Anyway back to my main point. I thought that by taking off 2 years of dating I had conquered the inevitable- the weakness of the flesh. I thoughtI had conquered the temptations involved in dating so I was surprised when phyiscal temptations arose with S- a guy who I was not all that attracted to. I started talking to "I" and I was hit with the same emotions. Right now I'm battling with setting limits. With both guys I made it perfectly clear that I will not have SEX before I get married and of course I was met with the "sure you are just playing hard to get we'll see how it goes!!!!" So what limits do I set if the guy agrees to wait. No kissing (I am told to be real and meet the guy half way- if I say no sex I should at least be willing to kiss the guy-right-wrong). Kissing always leads to more and more.....so what is a young Christian lady to do as she prepares herself for marriage. Well this is what I plan to undertake....finding out how to date the Christian way....Pray for me as I begin my journey :)
http://www.christian-dating-guide.com/character-traits.shtml
I started with the above website, and here is what I found. The first section was on character traits:
So why are character traits so important?When you select a dating mate as potential marriage partner, you are choosing far more than a bed-fellow and companion for your recreation. You are selecting a partner in a permanent building enterprise who will be among other things:
1. The other parent of your children. This requires christian character traits, personality traits and the intelligence necessary to guide and direct the development of growing children.
2. One who will have rather complete access to your bank account and credit. Such a trust requires not only honesty, but enough discipline to keep from squandering needed family resources for personal whims.
3. Even more important, that person will have intimate access to you; your innermost thoughts and feelings, your hopes and plans, your ambitions and aspirations. By encouraging you when you need it most, or by lending a hand or dragging his feet when the going gets tough, he may be able to make or break you. The way your mate gets along, or does not get along with your friends, neighbors and business associates can do much to determine your social and professional success.
Your parents may have had more influence upon you, but this you could not help. No one else will mean so much for your future as the one whom you choose as your mate.
Remember that you are choosing more than a companion for fun. You are choosing someone to do a total job; a job which requires a high level of integrity, competence, self-discipline and finesse. This choice is one of the most important decisions which you will ever make.
To marry a person with serious personality or character traits defects is not to help him. Usually it will make the condition worse. The following are some important questions you can start asking about character traits:
Do you both practice socially acceptable sex standards?
Are your manners acceptable to the social group with which you will associate?
Are you both sufficiently truthful and reliable to make possible good relationships with each other and with your associates?
Are you both satisfactorily honest regarding property?
Do you both have a kindly, humane attitude toward other people?
Till next time, Gnite
Faith
Monday, July 13, 2009
What is Going on? The second part of 2009
I am back after a month's hiatus. I easily get distracted when a lot of things come my way and that is why I have been absent. So many guys have come my way since I last wrote that I really need to refocus on whom God has purposed for me. Where do I continue from?
I think last time I wrote I said that S was waiting for my answer....right, right. A week later I finally had the nerve to give him my answer. I went over to his place and was actually going to tell him I didn't think there was a future for us however, I left with us agreeing to take things slow and seeing how they turned out. Deep in my heart I didn't see a future with S but I will admit that it felt good to hear that somebody wanted to be with me and just appreciated me for being me. Additionally, I have not dated anyone in the past two years so the prospects of dating again felt good.
Let me tell u a bit more about S. He is ten years older than me, he divorced his wife three years ago and she and his daughter live back home. His strong points are that he believes in Jesus Christ (although not really in no pre-marital sex), he is caring, thoughtful, kind and generous. He has both a bachelors degree and masters. He also likes to sing and cook (can u imagine). So what's wrong with him??? He is shorter than me but that is not a significant issue since my ex was shorter than me. I can't really explain it because when I am with him I have no cares in the world. He is more than willing to take care of me and provide for me. He is focused and knows what he wants out of life. He is even willing to try to wait until marriage. Im sure he is the type of guy to propose within 1 or 2 years. After writing my thoughts down it has confirmed what I thought- so far there is nothing wrong with this guy but I just cannot commit to him.
A couple of posts ago I said that I went to my friend's party and met a couple of cool guys there. Well guess what a few weeks after that incident I went to a work "networking" event and met one of the guys there- the one that danced really well. It was nice getting to meet him in a professional atmosphere as opposed to a club setting. I found out he works for an IT company in VA. We exchanged our contact info via FB when I invited him to a gospel concert at my church. To my amazement he agreed to come. We will call him I. He is really nice too. We met at the concert and he had a chance to meet my mum and friends who were also in attendance. He is so cool- the evening was not awkward at all. He went around and introduced himself to everyone. I enjoyed my Saturday night.
The next weekend I had a BBQ for July 4 and "I" came over. My girlfriends were the first to arrive and I was "manning" the grill by default. Actually I was burning all the food. As soon as "I" came, he took over the grill and did the grilling for the whole afternoon. Throughout the afternoon he made a lot of courteous and sweet gestures i.e when I didn't have a seat he got up and gave me his. My other guy friends (including B) came later on and were so the opposite. I really enjoyed that afternoon and all my girlfriends were impressed by "I". I am currently still talking to "I" and taking things really slow (if I can help it).
God I thank u for each of these men coming into my lives. Let me not take them for granted. Lord help me see them for who they really are. Lord help me know what Your purpose is for my life. Help me know what role B will play in my life? Lord please guide me now and forevermore and remove all distractions that are keeping me from doing Your will. Amen and thank You always.
I think last time I wrote I said that S was waiting for my answer....right, right. A week later I finally had the nerve to give him my answer. I went over to his place and was actually going to tell him I didn't think there was a future for us however, I left with us agreeing to take things slow and seeing how they turned out. Deep in my heart I didn't see a future with S but I will admit that it felt good to hear that somebody wanted to be with me and just appreciated me for being me. Additionally, I have not dated anyone in the past two years so the prospects of dating again felt good.
Let me tell u a bit more about S. He is ten years older than me, he divorced his wife three years ago and she and his daughter live back home. His strong points are that he believes in Jesus Christ (although not really in no pre-marital sex), he is caring, thoughtful, kind and generous. He has both a bachelors degree and masters. He also likes to sing and cook (can u imagine). So what's wrong with him??? He is shorter than me but that is not a significant issue since my ex was shorter than me. I can't really explain it because when I am with him I have no cares in the world. He is more than willing to take care of me and provide for me. He is focused and knows what he wants out of life. He is even willing to try to wait until marriage. Im sure he is the type of guy to propose within 1 or 2 years. After writing my thoughts down it has confirmed what I thought- so far there is nothing wrong with this guy but I just cannot commit to him.
A couple of posts ago I said that I went to my friend's party and met a couple of cool guys there. Well guess what a few weeks after that incident I went to a work "networking" event and met one of the guys there- the one that danced really well. It was nice getting to meet him in a professional atmosphere as opposed to a club setting. I found out he works for an IT company in VA. We exchanged our contact info via FB when I invited him to a gospel concert at my church. To my amazement he agreed to come. We will call him I. He is really nice too. We met at the concert and he had a chance to meet my mum and friends who were also in attendance. He is so cool- the evening was not awkward at all. He went around and introduced himself to everyone. I enjoyed my Saturday night.
The next weekend I had a BBQ for July 4 and "I" came over. My girlfriends were the first to arrive and I was "manning" the grill by default. Actually I was burning all the food. As soon as "I" came, he took over the grill and did the grilling for the whole afternoon. Throughout the afternoon he made a lot of courteous and sweet gestures i.e when I didn't have a seat he got up and gave me his. My other guy friends (including B) came later on and were so the opposite. I really enjoyed that afternoon and all my girlfriends were impressed by "I". I am currently still talking to "I" and taking things really slow (if I can help it).
God I thank u for each of these men coming into my lives. Let me not take them for granted. Lord help me see them for who they really are. Lord help me know what Your purpose is for my life. Help me know what role B will play in my life? Lord please guide me now and forevermore and remove all distractions that are keeping me from doing Your will. Amen and thank You always.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
My Date with S
Yesterday, S and I went out. He was supposed to pick me up at my place around 7pm but I was running really late so I told him I would drive and meet him at his place. I finally left my place at 9pm. I found out he only lived 15 minutes away so the drive was not bad at all.
He has a nice apartment (definitely a bachelor's pad). Hanging on the wall was a picture of a cute little girl and on his laptop was the same picture-so obviously my antennas went up. He was very honest and let me know that was his 6 year old daughter and she lives back home. As he talked about her it was evident that he loved and cared for her very much (how sweet). However, it also threw me for a loop-a major discussion point with myself. But these days I am trying to be open-minded and to give people a chance.
He is such a gentleman (which I definitely love) he came to my side of the car and opened my door for me. We went out to a local restaurant in DC that had a live band playing. The evening was really relaxed and we got to talk and get to know each other better. I found out he is really focused, has a plan for his life, is not into playing games and lets his intentions be known.
In a nut shell at the end of the night he told me that he was willing to take his time to build up to a relationship however, he wanted me to know that his intentions were a relationship in the long run. He said he was not into investing emotions, time etc and it leading to nothing (especially if I know before hand that I am not on the same wavelength he is on). I told him that I appreciated his honesty but I didn't time to think about all that was said. So I have this week to think and pray about everything then get back to him.
Now its decision time for me. He represents a lot of things I want in a guy: God fearing, caring, thoughtful, kind and generous. To illustrate some of these: yesterday when I told him I needed time to think and pray; he actually gave me some scriptures to read and he explained them to me- and No the scriputurs were not biased to his view point-which is what I thought at first. This afternoon, he stopped over just to leave me roses, chocolate and a card. He sings to me on the phone, he cooks and is willing to do my laundry etc. I know its just the beginning and ppl make a lot of promises they can't live upto but this guy makes promises I have never heard any other guy make. Additionally, he pointed out that the way we met was not orchestrated by any of us instead I was brought to him. This is how Eve met Adam, it was not because of Adam's own desires; God saw that he was missing a companion, made Eve and brought her to Adam. Ruth the Moabitess was also brought to Boaz. This I thought was very profound and stood out to me. However, I also know that the devil tempted Jesus in the dessert with scripture. Furthermore, my Pastor always tells me not to compromise on the big issues ( a child and life aspirations are major issues). So this week, I will not be anxious for anything instead I will turn to Jesus Christ and ask for guidance. I know that at the end of the week, I will have a decision and it will be the right decision.
In the Mighty name of Jesus, Amen and thank you.
Faith
He has a nice apartment (definitely a bachelor's pad). Hanging on the wall was a picture of a cute little girl and on his laptop was the same picture-so obviously my antennas went up. He was very honest and let me know that was his 6 year old daughter and she lives back home. As he talked about her it was evident that he loved and cared for her very much (how sweet). However, it also threw me for a loop-a major discussion point with myself. But these days I am trying to be open-minded and to give people a chance.
He is such a gentleman (which I definitely love) he came to my side of the car and opened my door for me. We went out to a local restaurant in DC that had a live band playing. The evening was really relaxed and we got to talk and get to know each other better. I found out he is really focused, has a plan for his life, is not into playing games and lets his intentions be known.
In a nut shell at the end of the night he told me that he was willing to take his time to build up to a relationship however, he wanted me to know that his intentions were a relationship in the long run. He said he was not into investing emotions, time etc and it leading to nothing (especially if I know before hand that I am not on the same wavelength he is on). I told him that I appreciated his honesty but I didn't time to think about all that was said. So I have this week to think and pray about everything then get back to him.
Now its decision time for me. He represents a lot of things I want in a guy: God fearing, caring, thoughtful, kind and generous. To illustrate some of these: yesterday when I told him I needed time to think and pray; he actually gave me some scriptures to read and he explained them to me- and No the scriputurs were not biased to his view point-which is what I thought at first. This afternoon, he stopped over just to leave me roses, chocolate and a card. He sings to me on the phone, he cooks and is willing to do my laundry etc. I know its just the beginning and ppl make a lot of promises they can't live upto but this guy makes promises I have never heard any other guy make. Additionally, he pointed out that the way we met was not orchestrated by any of us instead I was brought to him. This is how Eve met Adam, it was not because of Adam's own desires; God saw that he was missing a companion, made Eve and brought her to Adam. Ruth the Moabitess was also brought to Boaz. This I thought was very profound and stood out to me. However, I also know that the devil tempted Jesus in the dessert with scripture. Furthermore, my Pastor always tells me not to compromise on the big issues ( a child and life aspirations are major issues). So this week, I will not be anxious for anything instead I will turn to Jesus Christ and ask for guidance. I know that at the end of the week, I will have a decision and it will be the right decision.
In the Mighty name of Jesus, Amen and thank you.
Faith
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Allowing Yourself to Date Again
Good evening,
This weekend was Memorial weekend and I really enjoyed myself. Thank you God for your continued mercies and opportunities. On Friday I just woke up and talked with God. Our conversation revolved around the usual-dating. I came to the realization that even though I am complaining that no guys approach me these days; I had to face the fact that I just do not make myself available. I finally understood that these are my days to date and get to know how different guys treat girls. However, the key is to still remain abstinate. I truly said that I would be open to opportunities that presented themselves.
Little did I know that God was already working out a plan. (I don't know why I don't just stand on God's word and believe-instead I constantly doubt His word thinking that they are my own thoughts). I took my car into the dealership for a routine oil change and 2 hours later I was having lunch with a really nice guy.....
I pulled into the dealership and the attendant noticed the flag on my dashboard and started small talk about my country. Afterwards, while I waited for my car he introduced me to his co-worker from Ghana and we continued talking. His Ghanaian friend said he had a lot of friends from my country. We talked for about an hour and during that conversation the Ghanian guy suddenly passed his phone to me saying that I should say hi to his friend from my country. I spoke to the guy and we exchanged pleasantries. He asked how much longer I would be at the dealership and I told him about another hour since the mechanic found other things I needed changed on my car. To my surprise he said he would pass through the dealership to say hi.
Now for all those that know me -know that I was panicking and already "overthinking" the whole situation. However, this time I said I would just see how things played themselves out. Low and behold about 20 minutes later, I met him. I'll call him "S". Being honest my first thoughts were wow he's shorter than me and not that attractive but I still decided to give the guy the benefit of the doubt; thinking the usual will happen- we will talk for a little bit, exchange numbers and I probably won't call him-but I will make an acquaintance.
"S" probably knew my thoughts because he then said he would like to take me to lunch right then and there. Smart move I thought and I was hungry so what the heck. We waited for a few more minutes for my car then I followed behind him to go to a nearby restaurant. We had a nice lunch-it was so spontaneous and so unlike me. "S" was really nice, thoughtful and caring. It was nice to meet a serious guy through his introductions was basically telling me what he wants next in life- a wife. Afterwards, we said the usual good byes.
In the afternoon, he called me three times and left two text messages??? Is he a stalker or just very caring? I also had to ask myself these questions: Am I ready to be in a committed relationship? Am I ready to get married or do I just like to talk about it? Do my actions contradict my speech pattern? Do I purposefully go after guys that I know are not ready to commit just to validate my opinions and thoughts? Here is a guy that seems straightforward I am ready to run for the hills??????
A little digration; that evening I was invited to go to a friend's birthday part at a lounge in downtown. The prior Sunday I had asked B to come with me but during the week he said he would be out of town. I then asked one of my other friends to go with me. The night of the party she called me and said something came up. At that point it was too late to call anyone else so I had to go alone-things always work out for the good.
I met my friend and all her other friends- we had a lot of fun. I danced in heels till the "wee" hours of the morning- I am not wearing anymore heels for the remainder of the weekend-thats how bad it was (LOL). There were a couple of interesting guys there. One does IT in the VA area and the other was just a guy that had a British accent (it gets me all the time). In addition, to these two, my ex-boyfriend was also was also there-boy was I glad I was looking good. I just waved and said a quick "hi". When I got home that morning, my ex called me-it was as if we had spoken the day before-not a year ago. We'll c...............................................
As you can see I had an eventful weekend. Now I just pray that God continues to allow me to be open to opportunities that come my way, grant me wisdom and discernment, help me determine exactly what I want in a spouse, go with the flow and just enjoy life; I only have one life on this earth and I want it to be a life without regret.
Amen and here is to the remainder of 2009 :)
This weekend was Memorial weekend and I really enjoyed myself. Thank you God for your continued mercies and opportunities. On Friday I just woke up and talked with God. Our conversation revolved around the usual-dating. I came to the realization that even though I am complaining that no guys approach me these days; I had to face the fact that I just do not make myself available. I finally understood that these are my days to date and get to know how different guys treat girls. However, the key is to still remain abstinate. I truly said that I would be open to opportunities that presented themselves.
Little did I know that God was already working out a plan. (I don't know why I don't just stand on God's word and believe-instead I constantly doubt His word thinking that they are my own thoughts). I took my car into the dealership for a routine oil change and 2 hours later I was having lunch with a really nice guy.....
I pulled into the dealership and the attendant noticed the flag on my dashboard and started small talk about my country. Afterwards, while I waited for my car he introduced me to his co-worker from Ghana and we continued talking. His Ghanaian friend said he had a lot of friends from my country. We talked for about an hour and during that conversation the Ghanian guy suddenly passed his phone to me saying that I should say hi to his friend from my country. I spoke to the guy and we exchanged pleasantries. He asked how much longer I would be at the dealership and I told him about another hour since the mechanic found other things I needed changed on my car. To my surprise he said he would pass through the dealership to say hi.
Now for all those that know me -know that I was panicking and already "overthinking" the whole situation. However, this time I said I would just see how things played themselves out. Low and behold about 20 minutes later, I met him. I'll call him "S". Being honest my first thoughts were wow he's shorter than me and not that attractive but I still decided to give the guy the benefit of the doubt; thinking the usual will happen- we will talk for a little bit, exchange numbers and I probably won't call him-but I will make an acquaintance.
"S" probably knew my thoughts because he then said he would like to take me to lunch right then and there. Smart move I thought and I was hungry so what the heck. We waited for a few more minutes for my car then I followed behind him to go to a nearby restaurant. We had a nice lunch-it was so spontaneous and so unlike me. "S" was really nice, thoughtful and caring. It was nice to meet a serious guy through his introductions was basically telling me what he wants next in life- a wife. Afterwards, we said the usual good byes.
In the afternoon, he called me three times and left two text messages??? Is he a stalker or just very caring? I also had to ask myself these questions: Am I ready to be in a committed relationship? Am I ready to get married or do I just like to talk about it? Do my actions contradict my speech pattern? Do I purposefully go after guys that I know are not ready to commit just to validate my opinions and thoughts? Here is a guy that seems straightforward I am ready to run for the hills??????
A little digration; that evening I was invited to go to a friend's birthday part at a lounge in downtown. The prior Sunday I had asked B to come with me but during the week he said he would be out of town. I then asked one of my other friends to go with me. The night of the party she called me and said something came up. At that point it was too late to call anyone else so I had to go alone-things always work out for the good.
I met my friend and all her other friends- we had a lot of fun. I danced in heels till the "wee" hours of the morning- I am not wearing anymore heels for the remainder of the weekend-thats how bad it was (LOL). There were a couple of interesting guys there. One does IT in the VA area and the other was just a guy that had a British accent (it gets me all the time). In addition, to these two, my ex-boyfriend was also was also there-boy was I glad I was looking good. I just waved and said a quick "hi". When I got home that morning, my ex called me-it was as if we had spoken the day before-not a year ago. We'll c...............................................
As you can see I had an eventful weekend. Now I just pray that God continues to allow me to be open to opportunities that come my way, grant me wisdom and discernment, help me determine exactly what I want in a spouse, go with the flow and just enjoy life; I only have one life on this earth and I want it to be a life without regret.
Amen and here is to the remainder of 2009 :)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Hmmmmmmmm
Day in and day out we are constantly thinking and trying to manipulate things to go our way.
When will we let God have His way?
My child He says let go and know I am here. Be still and know I am God. Why do you feel that you must handle everything on your own? Do you not know that I created you? I know what you can and cannot handle. I ordered all the steps of your life. Everything you are facing and will face I already knew would happen. Just like the birds of the air you need not worry about anything. Acknowledge me first and I will make your paths straight.
My Father I want to acknowledge You in all my ways-I truly do. I want to live by faith and not by sight but Lord it is so hard. Lord help me learn how to have time for you no matter how busy my day is. Lord I know that you have the best in store for me. I also know what I chave prayed for. Please O'Lord open the eyes of my heart so that I can see You in my life. Especially in the relationship aspect of my life. Lord I honestly do not understand what I am going through. If I can see Your plan/ purpose for my life I would be able to fulfill. Please God allow me to hear from You.
You say where there is confusion You will give me wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Lord I bring B to you. I know confusion is not your portion. I tell him I give up on the possibility of us ever being more than friends then he sends me the sweetest email and is the sweetest guy. Lord what am I supposed to do?
Being next to you I feel like the safest person on earth.
On that day, I longed for that moment to never end,
We were in the midst of ppl but all I could see was you, all I wanted to see was you.
I had the best of both worlds-being with you in the presence of God
I have never had such an experience- it was wonderful & I pray that I have
many more.
I ask myself this question a million times, if everything seems great what holds you
back?
My continued prayer is that God shows us the way.
When will we let God have His way?
My child He says let go and know I am here. Be still and know I am God. Why do you feel that you must handle everything on your own? Do you not know that I created you? I know what you can and cannot handle. I ordered all the steps of your life. Everything you are facing and will face I already knew would happen. Just like the birds of the air you need not worry about anything. Acknowledge me first and I will make your paths straight.
My Father I want to acknowledge You in all my ways-I truly do. I want to live by faith and not by sight but Lord it is so hard. Lord help me learn how to have time for you no matter how busy my day is. Lord I know that you have the best in store for me. I also know what I chave prayed for. Please O'Lord open the eyes of my heart so that I can see You in my life. Especially in the relationship aspect of my life. Lord I honestly do not understand what I am going through. If I can see Your plan/ purpose for my life I would be able to fulfill. Please God allow me to hear from You.
You say where there is confusion You will give me wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Lord I bring B to you. I know confusion is not your portion. I tell him I give up on the possibility of us ever being more than friends then he sends me the sweetest email and is the sweetest guy. Lord what am I supposed to do?
A poem (of sorts)
The little things in life
You didn't even have to say a word,
your presence, your touch was enough
when I am near you, I act like a little school girl too nervous to talk
I feel like I can tell you anything but fear holds me back.Being next to you I feel like the safest person on earth.
On that day, I longed for that moment to never end,
We were in the midst of ppl but all I could see was you, all I wanted to see was you.
I had the best of both worlds-being with you in the presence of God
I have never had such an experience- it was wonderful & I pray that I have
many more.
I ask myself this question a million times, if everything seems great what holds you
back?
My continued prayer is that God shows us the way.
Continued..........
....the dinner was a great surprise. All my friends were there both old and new. On my journey of growth, I discovered a few things that night: 1) family is always there for u 2) there are sum friends who r just genuine friends and who always have ur best interest at heart. (I thank God for F because she is the friend I have known the longest in this country. She is like another sister to me. She always has my back no matter what. Thank you God for her. Lord I pray that you may grant her the desires of her heart this year. Please always watch over her & protect her. 3) I learned that M & I will never be. I can finally put that possibility to rest. 4) B is still the one for me-no matter how much I fight it ppl he is the one-I can't explain it but I trust God that He will work everything out. I am really tired about thinking about the whole situation so I just give it up to God and ask that His power works through all. I hope that by the end of this year this situation will be sorted out one way or the other-please God. I really enjoyed sitting across from him the whole evening. I also found out that in as much as you think you know someone you dont. He is really into taking pics-like seriously. Again, his generosity and kindness came out (the bros). 4) This year is great and I love my new friends and look forward to many more years of friendship.
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