Discovering My Purpose in Life

Time Flies

2010-08-02T22:20:00.000-07:00

As you can already tell....I have not kept up with my Christian dating experience.

Work has definitely taken a lot of my time. Additionally, I am also taking a class at the local community college to prepare for grad school (pray for me). Furthermore, everytime I tried to write I could not remember my password- but thank goodness tonight everything lined up.

The relationship side- I am glad to write that "I" and I are still dating. This relationship has without a doubt shown me that I have areas in my life that need improvement. Here are a few pointers I have learned thus far:

There are God fearing, loving and respectful men out there,

It is amazing how someone treating you well; will also make you want to treat them well,

Do not loosely use the word "love"- discover all that the word truly entails,

Family will confirm a person's character

2010

2010-01-09T14:03:00.000-08:00

So today is February 25, 2009....wow we are almost done with the second month of 2010. Lord God I thank You for seeing me through to another year. Thank You for Your mercies and compassion bestowed on me throughout 2009.

I found myself not wanting to make resolutions for 2010 but I know that I love to set out goals because they sort of create a roadmap for me and every so often I can go back and see if I am on target or have fallen off...so I guess I will write a couple of goals as I go through the year :)

The big thing for 2009 was getting over "B" and as of this writing I can safely say that I am content without him. Right now I thank God that nothing ever happened between myself and B. God knew that the thing I so desired and thought was right for me was not -I thank You, for You are the sovereign Lord. "B" is currently sort of in a relationship and I wish him and the girl all the best.

Tonight I was just looking back at how God has been good to me and how He is still there for me. I know it's a cliche to say that I cannot express how good He has been to me on paper or verbally but He has just been that good. I thank God that the countless times I have turned away from Him- He has still been there for me. I thank Him for His peace that surpasses ALL understanding. Regardless of what I am going through He always grants me unexplainable favor and mercy. God allowed me to pass the major test I had to take at work for a promotion. He allowed me to pass on my first attempt while others have had to take it over. Everything that I am is because of Him and for that I will be forever grateful. This year I plan to walk in boldness and confidence that comes from God. I plan to boast in the Lord and spread His word in whatever way I can- for there is none like Him. He alone is worthy, He alone is marvelous and He alone is awesome.

All of my days I will serve you O'Lord. Please put in me an obedient and trusting heart no matter what. Cause me to take leaps and bounds of faith this year in the Mighty name of Jesus. Cause me to share Your word with people I come into contact with. Lord use me like You have never used me before, allow me to positively impact the lives of everyone I come into contact with and in the name of Jesus may their lives never be the same as a result of meeting me and You O'Lord speaking through me. Father have your way in my life now and forevermore. Amen.

Offically Dating

2009-12-06T16:50:00.000-08:00

Good evening,

I know it has been a long time but I will strive to do better in 2010.

Let me fill in the gaps:

On the relationship side, things are looking up. As of October 25, 2009 I officially have a serious boyfriend. "I" officially asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. "I" and I have gotten much closer and the lines are really getting blurry right now. I think my issue is that I really think all issues out-weighing the good and the bad-but with another person you cannot really do that. I mean "I" is awesome-he is God fearing, he comes from a God fearing family, he is caring, sweet, thoughtful, ambitious, confident, supportive, friendly, a good dancer, the physical attraction, you name it and he is it. He is really a welcome breath of fresh air- a welcome surprise. He has really opened my eyes as to how a guy is supposed to treat a lady. When I am with him it is nice to let down my guard against the world because he is looking out for the both of us. *Where do I draw the line between being thankful and appreciative of him and being overly dependent on him. I know that God supplies all my needs....but can He also use people to supply those needs to me? Jesus help me.

Characterwise he is awesome but then comes the thing of coming from different countries-speaking different languages and having different cultures, the ok attraction, the same height etc. My "B" issue???

Spiritual side. On my spiritual side things are also looking up. In 2009 I have definitely grown in the things of God. When I read the bible nowadays more things come to light and I understand more. Thank u God. In 2009 I actually preached twice-all praise to God.

My only concern now is still keeping God first in my life, having a boyfriend and living my life. How do I combine all things and still let God be the driver of my life? This is all new to me and it's "kinda" giving me a glimpse of what it might be like to have a husband (though I am still far from it). Don't get me wrong:-having a boyfriend is great but it is also hard work and takes a lot of adjustment for someone like me who hasn't dated in about 3 yrs. Before meeting "I" I would not have thought of myself as being a selfish person but with him around- I now realize how much of my life was just centered on me. I mean I was always doing different stuff for different people but it was always on my terms and at my convenience now that I have someone that wants to spend time with me I find that it takes extra effort on my part to include him in all my plans.

I now understand why preachers etc say that when we are single is when we should dedicate our lives to the Lord-because it is much easier. Marriage must be much harder-I thank God for this learning experience-thus while I am still single and have "my" time I will strive to do all that I can for God with my life- I pray that all aspects of my life may glorify God.

Culture Shock

2009-10-19T18:33:00.000-07:00

Good evening,

I am writing from Atlanta, its a beautiful city but burrrr its cold. I know I haven't written in a while..........life is all I can say. Work has kept me quite busy this year and ohhh yeah I'm sort of seeing someone-so that is taking quite a bit of my time and causing me to adjust my schedule.

Let me tell you about my culture shock this weekend. "I" and I are still talking and he is a good guy I'm still taking it sort of slow. Anyway, since we met "I" has always been the one to come to my place and we either hang out there or he picks me up. This weekend he invited me to his place- don't worry he doesn't live alone :) His older brother and family live there and his father is visiting. So I drove over to "I's" place yesterday afternoon. Not sure why but I was quite nervous. I got there and he prepared some food for me. We were sitting in the living room eating our food when one of his dad's friends came over.

"I" let the gentleman in; I was sitting down eating but I acknowledged the man and said hello and he responded. "I" went upstairs to call his dad afterwards, "I" went into the kitchen. I quickly picked up my plate and went into the kitchen as well. Then "I's" dad came downstairs and started talking to his friend while "I" and I chated in the kitchen.

Here comes the awkward moment, "I" and I were leaving to go to the store to rent a movie to watch. As we were walking out I wanted to greet "I's" dad who I had met once before however, the men were still talking so I did not want to disturb them. Then "I" introduced me to his father, I went over and shook his hand and also decided to shake his friend's hand. I thought all was cool- his dad was like ohh, I met you last time and I agreed. As we were walking out his dad and his dad's friend started talking to "I" (who by the way is from a different African country) of course I couldn't understand the language so I just stood off to the side......when we were in the car "I" started talking about how men and women from his country greet each other. I said yeah I know one of my closest friends is from the same country. He then went on to ask how I greet my friend's parents I said by shaking their hands. He asked why I didn't follow my friend's country's style of greeting. I told him that my friend's parents understood that I was not from their country and it was never a big deal....at this point however, I was wondering why we were having this conversation.

He then went on to tell me that my "greeting style" was what his dad and his dad's friend were talking about when we were on our way out.......I felt so awkward and didn't know how to respond. Apparently, his dad's friend was asking "is this how she greets?" and telling "I" that he should show me the correct way. uuuuuhhhh I was boiling- because it was not like I was trying to be disrepectful but I felt that was how I was being potrayed. It upset me that someone that does not know me, does not know my culture etc should have something to say about me. To make matters worse "I" said that when we got back to the house I should greet them correctly. Now you know I was boiling-how could I have been expected to do something I was never told to do in the first place?

When we got back I told "I" that I thought it was best we called it a night. I really was thrown for a loop at the way things were turning out. I had actually taken the time out of my sunday afternoon and drove out of my way to see this dude and he was acting like this.

We talked or argued for a bit....then we finally compromised..."I" apologised and explained that it didn't really matter to his dad. It was his dad's friend making the issue bigger than it needed to be. He also told me he would have shown me the right way if we were going to a big family gathering etc. I also understood that I should be open to learning other people's cultures, go with the flow, not to take things personally and not be so defensive.

Redefining Me & Christian Dating

2009-08-09T19:18:00.000-07:00

Good evening,

So I started writing this blog thinking that I was chronicalling my transition from singlehood to marriage (yeah right)!!!!!!! Little did I know that I still had a lot more growing to do. Today it finally hit me- maybe my purpose is to define Christian dating & actually practice it. Last year and the year before that I thought I had mastered God's plan:- I was done with my singlehood, I was sure B was the one for me, we would start dating the Christian way (because of course he is God fearing), he would propose and we would live happily ever after.

But guess what is happening now:- I am talking to a really nice guy that is involved in the church, there are 2 other prospects that are getting more and more involved in the church and there is B who seems to be pulling away from the church. *Update- tonight I officially ended the hope of S and I being in a relationship. I told him that we could remain friends but that I could not see him anytime soon. I need a couple of months break so as not to create any further complications between the two of us. So why am I going through all of this if I know the person I am supposed to marry. I don't know and may probably never know. However, I now choose to use this as a way of glorifying God because I know my journey down the aisle will be a HUGE Testimony of God's Power, Might and Saving hand. Whether I like to admit it or not I am closer to God when I am going through tribulations, but now I am surrounded by so much male attention that sometimes I loose focus on God- the real prize.

Anyway back to my main point. I thought that by taking off 2 years of dating I had conquered the inevitable- the weakness of the flesh. I thoughtI had conquered the temptations involved in dating so I was surprised when phyiscal temptations arose with S- a guy who I was not all that attracted to. I started talking to "I" and I was hit with the same emotions. Right now I'm battling with setting limits. With both guys I made it perfectly clear that I will not have SEX before I get married and of course I was met with the "sure you are just playing hard to get we'll see how it goes!!!!" So what limits do I set if the guy agrees to wait. No kissing (I am told to be real and meet the guy half way- if I say no sex I should at least be willing to kiss the guy-right-wrong). Kissing always leads to more and more.....so what is a young Christian lady to do as she prepares herself for marriage. Well this is what I plan to undertake....finding out how to date the Christian way....Pray for me as I begin my journey :)

http://www.christian-dating-guide.com/character-traits.shtml

I started with the above website, and here is what I found. The first section was on character traits:

So why are character traits so important?When you select a dating mate as potential marriage partner, you are choosing far more than a bed-fellow and companion for your recreation. You are selecting a partner in a permanent building enterprise who will be among other things:
1. The other parent of your children. This requires christian character traits, personality traits and the intelligence necessary to guide and direct the development of growing children.
2. One who will have rather complete access to your bank account and credit. Such a trust requires not only honesty, but enough discipline to keep from squandering needed family resources for personal whims.
3. Even more important, that person will have intimate access to you; your innermost thoughts and feelings, your hopes and plans, your ambitions and aspirations. By encouraging you when you need it most, or by lending a hand or dragging his feet when the going gets tough, he may be able to make or break you. The way your mate gets along, or does not get along with your friends, neighbors and business associates can do much to determine your social and professional success.

Your parents may have had more influence upon you, but this you could not help. No one else will mean so much for your future as the one whom you choose as your mate.
Remember that you are choosing more than a companion for fun. You are choosing someone to do a total job; a job which requires a high level of integrity, competence, self-discipline and finesse. This choice is one of the most important decisions which you will ever make.

To marry a person with serious personality or character traits defects is not to help him. Usually it will make the condition worse. The following are some important questions you can start asking about character traits:
Do you both practice socially acceptable sex standards?
Are your manners acceptable to the social group with which you will associate?
Are you both sufficiently truthful and reliable to make possible good relationships with each other and with your associates?
Are you both satisfactorily honest regarding property?
Do you both have a kindly, humane attitude toward other people?

Till next time, Gnite
Faith

What is Going on? The second part of 2009

2009-07-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

I am back after a month's hiatus. I easily get distracted when a lot of things come my way and that is why I have been absent. So many guys have come my way since I last wrote that I really need to refocus on whom God has purposed for me. Where do I continue from?

I think last time I wrote I said that S was waiting for my answer....right, right. A week later I finally had the nerve to give him my answer. I went over to his place and was actually going to tell him I didn't think there was a future for us however, I left with us agreeing to take things slow and seeing how they turned out. Deep in my heart I didn't see a future with S but I will admit that it felt good to hear that somebody wanted to be with me and just appreciated me for being me. Additionally, I have not dated anyone in the past two years so the prospects of dating again felt good.

Let me tell u a bit more about S. He is ten years older than me, he divorced his wife three years ago and she and his daughter live back home. His strong points are that he believes in Jesus Christ (although not really in no pre-marital sex), he is caring, thoughtful, kind and generous. He has both a bachelors degree and masters. He also likes to sing and cook (can u imagine). So what's wrong with him??? He is shorter than me but that is not a significant issue since my ex was shorter than me. I can't really explain it because when I am with him I have no cares in the world. He is more than willing to take care of me and provide for me. He is focused and knows what he wants out of life. He is even willing to try to wait until marriage. Im sure he is the type of guy to propose within 1 or 2 years. After writing my thoughts down it has confirmed what I thought- so far there is nothing wrong with this guy but I just cannot commit to him.

A couple of posts ago I said that I went to my friend's party and met a couple of cool guys there. Well guess what a few weeks after that incident I went to a work "networking" event and met one of the guys there- the one that danced really well. It was nice getting to meet him in a professional atmosphere as opposed to a club setting. I found out he works for an IT company in VA. We exchanged our contact info via FB when I invited him to a gospel concert at my church. To my amazement he agreed to come. We will call him I. He is really nice too. We met at the concert and he had a chance to meet my mum and friends who were also in attendance. He is so cool- the evening was not awkward at all. He went around and introduced himself to everyone. I enjoyed my Saturday night.

The next weekend I had a BBQ for July 4 and "I" came over. My girlfriends were the first to arrive and I was "manning" the grill by default. Actually I was burning all the food. As soon as "I" came, he took over the grill and did the grilling for the whole afternoon. Throughout the afternoon he made a lot of courteous and sweet gestures i.e when I didn't have a seat he got up and gave me his. My other guy friends (including B) came later on and were so the opposite. I really enjoyed that afternoon and all my girlfriends were impressed by "I". I am currently still talking to "I" and taking things really slow (if I can help it).

God I thank u for each of these men coming into my lives. Let me not take them for granted. Lord help me see them for who they really are. Lord help me know what Your purpose is for my life. Help me know what role B will play in my life? Lord please guide me now and forevermore and remove all distractions that are keeping me from doing Your will. Amen and thank You always.

My Date with S

2009-05-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, S and I went out. He was supposed to pick me up at my place around 7pm but I was running really late so I told him I would drive and meet him at his place. I finally left my place at 9pm. I found out he only lived 15 minutes away so the drive was not bad at all.

He has a nice apartment (definitely a bachelor's pad). Hanging on the wall was a picture of a cute little girl and on his laptop was the same picture-so obviously my antennas went up. He was very honest and let me know that was his 6 year old daughter and she lives back home. As he talked about her it was evident that he loved and cared for her very much (how sweet). However, it also threw me for a loop-a major discussion point with myself. But these days I am trying to be open-minded and to give people a chance.

He is such a gentleman (which I definitely love) he came to my side of the car and opened my door for me. We went out to a local restaurant in DC that had a live band playing. The evening was really relaxed and we got to talk and get to know each other better. I found out he is really focused, has a plan for his life, is not into playing games and lets his intentions be known.

In a nut shell at the end of the night he told me that he was willing to take his time to build up to a relationship however, he wanted me to know that his intentions were a relationship in the long run. He said he was not into investing emotions, time etc and it leading to nothing (especially if I know before hand that I am not on the same wavelength he is on). I told him that I appreciated his honesty but I didn't time to think about all that was said. So I have this week to think and pray about everything then get back to him.

Now its decision time for me. He represents a lot of things I want in a guy: God fearing, caring, thoughtful, kind and generous. To illustrate some of these: yesterday when I told him I needed time to think and pray; he actually gave me some scriptures to read and he explained them to me- and No the scriputurs were not biased to his view point-which is what I thought at first. This afternoon, he stopped over just to leave me roses, chocolate and a card. He sings to me on the phone, he cooks and is willing to do my laundry etc. I know its just the beginning and ppl make a lot of promises they can't live upto but this guy makes promises I have never heard any other guy make. Additionally, he pointed out that the way we met was not orchestrated by any of us instead I was brought to him. This is how Eve met Adam, it was not because of Adam's own desires; God saw that he was missing a companion, made Eve and brought her to Adam. Ruth the Moabitess was also brought to Boaz. This I thought was very profound and stood out to me. However, I also know that the devil tempted Jesus in the dessert with scripture. Furthermore, my Pastor always tells me not to compromise on the big issues ( a child and life aspirations are major issues). So this week, I will not be anxious for anything instead I will turn to Jesus Christ and ask for guidance. I know that at the end of the week, I will have a decision and it will be the right decision.

In the Mighty name of Jesus, Amen and thank you.
Faith

Allowing Yourself to Date Again

2009-05-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

Good evening,

This weekend was Memorial weekend and I really enjoyed myself. Thank you God for your continued mercies and opportunities. On Friday I just woke up and talked with God. Our conversation revolved around the usual-dating. I came to the realization that even though I am complaining that no guys approach me these days; I had to face the fact that I just do not make myself available. I finally understood that these are my days to date and get to know how different guys treat girls. However, the key is to still remain abstinate. I truly said that I would be open to opportunities that presented themselves.

Little did I know that God was already working out a plan. (I don't know why I don't just stand on God's word and believe-instead I constantly doubt His word thinking that they are my own thoughts). I took my car into the dealership for a routine oil change and 2 hours later I was having lunch with a really nice guy.....

I pulled into the dealership and the attendant noticed the flag on my dashboard and started small talk about my country. Afterwards, while I waited for my car he introduced me to his co-worker from Ghana and we continued talking. His Ghanaian friend said he had a lot of friends from my country. We talked for about an hour and during that conversation the Ghanian guy suddenly passed his phone to me saying that I should say hi to his friend from my country. I spoke to the guy and we exchanged pleasantries. He asked how much longer I would be at the dealership and I told him about another hour since the mechanic found other things I needed changed on my car. To my surprise he said he would pass through the dealership to say hi.

Now for all those that know me -know that I was panicking and already "overthinking" the whole situation. However, this time I said I would just see how things played themselves out. Low and behold about 20 minutes later, I met him. I'll call him "S". Being honest my first thoughts were wow he's shorter than me and not that attractive but I still decided to give the guy the benefit of the doubt; thinking the usual will happen- we will talk for a little bit, exchange numbers and I probably won't call him-but I will make an acquaintance.

"S" probably knew my thoughts because he then said he would like to take me to lunch right then and there. Smart move I thought and I was hungry so what the heck. We waited for a few more minutes for my car then I followed behind him to go to a nearby restaurant. We had a nice lunch-it was so spontaneous and so unlike me. "S" was really nice, thoughtful and caring. It was nice to meet a serious guy through his introductions was basically telling me what he wants next in life- a wife. Afterwards, we said the usual good byes.

In the afternoon, he called me three times and left two text messages??? Is he a stalker or just very caring? I also had to ask myself these questions: Am I ready to be in a committed relationship? Am I ready to get married or do I just like to talk about it? Do my actions contradict my speech pattern? Do I purposefully go after guys that I know are not ready to commit just to validate my opinions and thoughts? Here is a guy that seems straightforward I am ready to run for the hills??????

A little digration; that evening I was invited to go to a friend's birthday part at a lounge in downtown. The prior Sunday I had asked B to come with me but during the week he said he would be out of town. I then asked one of my other friends to go with me. The night of the party she called me and said something came up. At that point it was too late to call anyone else so I had to go alone-things always work out for the good.

I met my friend and all her other friends- we had a lot of fun. I danced in heels till the "wee" hours of the morning- I am not wearing anymore heels for the remainder of the weekend-thats how bad it was (LOL). There were a couple of interesting guys there. One does IT in the VA area and the other was just a guy that had a British accent (it gets me all the time). In addition, to these two, my ex-boyfriend was also was also there-boy was I glad I was looking good. I just waved and said a quick "hi". When I got home that morning, my ex called me-it was as if we had spoken the day before-not a year ago. We'll c...............................................

As you can see I had an eventful weekend. Now I just pray that God continues to allow me to be open to opportunities that come my way, grant me wisdom and discernment, help me determine exactly what I want in a spouse, go with the flow and just enjoy life; I only have one life on this earth and I want it to be a life without regret.

Amen and here is to the remainder of 2009 :)

Hmmmmmmmm

2009-05-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

Day in and day out we are constantly thinking and trying to manipulate things to go our way.
When will we let God have His way?

My child He says let go and know I am here. Be still and know I am God. Why do you feel that you must handle everything on your own? Do you not know that I created you? I know what you can and cannot handle. I ordered all the steps of your life. Everything you are facing and will face I already knew would happen. Just like the birds of the air you need not worry about anything. Acknowledge me first and I will make your paths straight.

My Father I want to acknowledge You in all my ways-I truly do. I want to live by faith and not by sight but Lord it is so hard. Lord help me learn how to have time for you no matter how busy my day is. Lord I know that you have the best in store for me. I also know what I chave prayed for. Please O'Lord open the eyes of my heart so that I can see You in my life. Especially in the relationship aspect of my life. Lord I honestly do not understand what I am going through. If I can see Your plan/ purpose for my life I would be able to fulfill. Please God allow me to hear from You.

You say where there is confusion You will give me wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Lord I bring B to you. I know confusion is not your portion. I tell him I give up on the possibility of us ever being more than friends then he sends me the sweetest email and is the sweetest guy. Lord what am I supposed to do?

A poem (of sorts)

The little things in life
You didn't even have to say a word,

your presence, your touch was enough

when I am near you, I act like a little school girl too nervous to talk

I feel like I can tell you anything but fear holds me back.

Being next to you I feel like the safest person on earth.

On that day, I longed for that moment to never end,

We were in the midst of ppl but all I could see was you, all I wanted to see was you.

I had the best of both worlds-being with you in the presence of God

I have never had such an experience- it was wonderful & I pray that I have

many more.

I ask myself this question a million times, if everything seems great what holds you

back?

My continued prayer is that God shows us the way.

Continued..........

2009-05-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

....the dinner was a great surprise. All my friends were there both old and new. On my journey of growth, I discovered a few things that night: 1) family is always there for u 2) there are sum friends who r just genuine friends and who always have ur best interest at heart. (I thank God for F because she is the friend I have known the longest in this country. She is like another sister to me. She always has my back no matter what. Thank you God for her. Lord I pray that you may grant her the desires of her heart this year. Please always watch over her & protect her. 3) I learned that M & I will never be. I can finally put that possibility to rest. 4) B is still the one for me-no matter how much I fight it ppl he is the one-I can't explain it but I trust God that He will work everything out. I am really tired about thinking about the whole situation so I just give it up to God and ask that His power works through all. I hope that by the end of this year this situation will be sorted out one way or the other-please God. I really enjoyed sitting across from him the whole evening. I also found out that in as much as you think you know someone you dont. He is really into taking pics-like seriously. Again, his generosity and kindness came out (the bros). 4) This year is great and I love my new friends and look forward to many more years of friendship.

25th Birthday Surprise

2009-04-29T18:57:00.000-07:00

Good evening,

I know I haven't written in a while-things have been hectic, but good all at the same time. Where do I begin??? My birthday- Ok so I went to work on birthday and my co-workers took me out for lunch. That was sweet of them I know. At 4pm sharply, I left work and began my hour and half trip home. Got home and my brother and sister weren't there. There is something about turning 25- I think I feel calmer and wiser. The fact that I was home alone on my bday crossed my mind but I didn't want to let myself go to that place. I found inner peace from God. I am slowly learning to just let things fall into place. During the day the thought had crossed my mind that maybe my siblings would throw me a surprise party however, I had heard nothing- no accidental "slip ups" from any of my friends. To support my thinking two of my close friends and B had not called me by 5pm so I thought maybe just maybe something was up. At 7pm when I was about to leave for bible study I got a text from one of my close friends saying hapy birthday. I was glad she remembered but at the same time a little hurt that she just sent me a text. Also, this confirmed that nothing was going on because she would be the one to bring ppl together. So off I went to bible study.

I was so glad I went to Bible study because it was as if God was speaking directly to me. Telling me that everything in the Bible that was said years ago is still me said today. Whatever God told his disciples many years ago He is telling me the same today. My sister was also there. Aferwards, my brother brought a cake and everyone sang to me incluing my mum from back home. I was so humbled and appreciative of turning 25. I was like wow this is what being grown is all about.

The next day was Friday and I decided to pamper myself. With turning 25 I had already decided that this would be a low key birthday for me to celebrate turning my milestone. I also knew that if no one did anything for me I would still treat myself. I love getting my hair braided so that was a treat for myself. I woke up around 8 am and went to have my hair braided. I sat for about 8 hrs (but that is good timing-u know what I am saying lol). After that I went to have my nails and eyebrows done. Pamper me day it felt good.

Also, remember this was Easter weekend so there were so many activities at church that I had no "down time". Fast forward to sunday. My really really close friend I guess I can say my best friend said we would celebrate my birthday the next weekend because of how busy I was & I agreed with her. Remember C well she invited me for dinner, since I had nothing else planned I agreed to go with her. She first wanted to go shopping so I said that was fine. We got to the mall and it was closed because of Easter. So instead we went to her place to kill time. I can't explain it, it was so unlike me to not ask questions and find out exact details about what was going on...but I didn't. Around 6 pm we left her place and headed for the dinner. She told me we were going to meet one of her friends and I didn't think anything of it.

We went got there we parked the car and started to walk. Upon crossing on of the major intersections I noticed my best friend with another close friend of ours. This was peculiar because everytime they hang out I know about it. However, because I was also with C and hadn't told my best friend about it I thought well "touche". I waved at them but they didn't respond or even open the window- weird I thought and I voiced my opinions to C. We continued walking as we kept walking the light bulb started to come on. What were the chances that C, my best friends and I would all be in the same vacinity and not be connected. As we walked into the restaurant to my surprise were all my close friends including my co-workers!!!!!!

They got me real GOOD! I had no clue and using C was a good idea because I did not see any connections between her and my other friends.........

I will continue here next time, I have to go to bed for an early start tomorrow
Gnite
Faith- remember always walk in the power of God

Grown & Sexy!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

Good evening,

Tonight is the eve of my 25th birthday :) yippy. Thank You my Father in heaven for seeing me through to this age. I do not take it lightly I know that every year You have given me on this earth is a blessing. Holy Spirit may I use this year to glorify and exalt Your name. Lord have Your way in my life. Lord my prayer for this year is that You will protect me in all that I do, that You will direct all my paths, that You will protect my family all the days of their lives. Lord have Your way in My life.

Thank You for always being there for me no matter what.
Gnite & Amen

God's Voice

2009-03-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

My Father, my God,
I thank you for speaking to me today, I really needed to hear your voice.
Thank you for reminding me of Your Power and Your Might.
And that You had me in Your hands and there was nothing I needed to worry about.
Thank You for reminding me that I did not have to be afraid or timid because You
gave me a Spirit of love, power and a sound mind.
Thank You also for reminding me that You have always been there for me no matter what.
As a result, I was finally able to tell B, that I was moving on without him because, I finally had to come to terms with the fact that we were on two different pages. I apologised for all my antics, arguments, assumptions etc.

Surprisingly but thanks to the Grace of God I am fine with this decision. I have told him so I can finally move on. I am putting God first in my life and as the song says..I don't mind waiting. I also find solace in Isaiah 34: 16
Look in the scroll of the Lord and read:
None of these will be missing,
not one will lack her mate.
For it is his mouth that has given the order,
and His Spirit will gather them together.
He allots their portions;
his hand distributes them by measure.
They will possess it forever
and dwell there from generation to generation.

Amen
& Gd nite

The Peace of God

2009-03-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

Good evening,

I had an awesome weekend; and it was filled with pure, good and simple fun. It did not involve getting drunk or clubbing. This would not have been possible a few years ago. All I can say is Glory be to my Father for ordering my steps and bringing me a mighty long way.

Lord, I thank You for all that You have placed within me and I promise to use it to build your Kingdom. May I always have a humble spirit and acknowledge that You are the author and finisher of my life; without You I am NOTHING.

On Friday I got to hang out with the youth at my church; we had an overnight and it was really fun. We had discussions, watched movies, played games and of course ate the whole night. It was a really fun (I know I said that already) and relaxed night. B was there too so that made it all the better (I know, I Know I am no longer jumping to any conclusions, I'm just going to put everything in God's capable hands-because He is able to do exceedingly abundantly in my life).

Back to the story....so we discussed the issues that were proposed and "boy oh boy" were people opinionated including moi. We then watched a movie. I sat down next to one of my friends and we were just chiling, then B decided to move his chair and sit next to me. "What is this all about?" is what I was saying to myself trying to rationalize his actions-was there no more space anywhere else or did he just want to sit next to me? I don't know.

I don't know if you have noticed but I am trying a new approach-the in God's hands approach. Not reading too much into any situation and just waiting to see how things play out. With this new perspective, I just took the situation for what it was. He was sitting next to me and I enjoyed it regardless of the reason behind it. Afterwards we played a game and everyone got "worked" up-it was hilarious to see some calm people lose it-me included.

Around 5am the next movie was put on but I was so seriously tired. I got my covers, little mattress and pillow and was about to pretend to watch the movie. B and C (oh yeah C was there too but she is cool peoples now-I'm trying to work on that-a story for another time) were sitting on chairs behind me. U know even though I'm trying a new perspective u know I couldn't help the slight "stinge" of jealousy that rose up, but I gave it over to God right then and there. When I was about to fall asleep B (I guess was tired too) got off his chair and moved to the floor right next to me and went to sleep. I couldn't understand this either but I really appreciated the gesture. The next morning B and I were back to our usual antics-polite small talk.

On Saturday I got to hang out with my girls. They cooked, I watched Maid of Honor and afterwards the "Color Purple" while they played the "drinking game." All in all it was a nice and quiet way of spending a Saturday night. At church this morning, B sat next to me before I left for sunday school. God help me not read too much into things. Afterwards, we talked and joked around. I like this, God please help us be friends.

I will end with this:
Lord help me be mature in Christ Jesus so that I may exercise and practice Your word so that my senses and mental faculties will be able to distinguish between what is morally good and noble and what is evil and contrary to Your divine Will. Paraphrase of Hebrews 5:14 (Amplified Bible)

I am Fine the Way I am

2009-03-13T23:01:00.000-07:00

Good morning,

Today I was off. I love having Fridays off. I ran some errands then went to do my hair. On one of my errands I went to the Christian bookstore and bought a book entitled "Single for a Season Married for a Reason". Although I just started reading it, I think it is a good book. On my way back from the salon I started feeling down...the usual that I didn't have a boyfriend-someone I could talk to.

Lucky for me I had to meet up with a friend to study for a work exam so I didn't really have time to feel sorry for myself. I went over to my friends house and met up with other co-workers there. As you can guess we didn't get much studying done, in fact I didn't even open my book instead we cooked dinner and just chilled. It was nice just hanging out with the girls and forgetting about "B". That is when I realized that I should enjoy this phase of my life...I can go home decorate my room & house anyway I want, I can do anything on my time. I realized that somewhere in the last couple of years I had lost myself. I am very busy however, the things I am busy with involve B in one way or another so my thoughts are always on him.

*Realization, I need to find other activities that do not involve B otherwise I will always focus on him. Thank You God for this realization. I am wonderfully and fearfully made and I am going to enjoy this phase of my life instead of wishing for something else when I might get it and realize that it is more than I bargained for.

So I came home after dinner and had a nice relaxing evening. I was alone at home and just straightened everything out. I have not had the opportunity to do this in a while. I went out bought a vaccum and new trash can. Can u imagine that is how I spent my Friday evening, but it actually brought me joy. I came home vaccumed the living room, cleaned the dining room and kitchen. I now feel much better, I can't think when stuff is disorganized. Afterwards, I baked two cakes that people ordered. I am now waiting for them to come out of the oven but I now realize I am exhausted. 30 more minutes and I will be in my bed.

Thank You O'God for all You do for me
Please help me serve You first and wholeheartedly
Please grant my brother travelling mercies as he flies back tomorrow
Through God all things work for good
Gnite
Faith

On the road again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-23T19:33:00.000-08:00

Good evening,

My life on the road has started for this year! Not that I am complaining because the commuting from home was starting to get to me. Sometimes I like to be on the road because it affords me more time....time for clarity, time for big decision making & time for me. I know this sounds selfish but it really does help me. When the weekend comes around I am equiped and relaxed and able to give everyone my all.

How are things with B? Well, they are ok I guess. I mentioned that we had that talk were he basically told me he was not ready for a relationship right now and that he was trying to get himself together. To be honest I heard what he said but a part of me still assumed that he would now take steps to lead to a relationship with me. For me this meant that we would now talk more and hang out more. So when I did not see things happening, in particular when he could not even talk to me on Valentine's day I took offense.

I told myself that I finally got the message- he's just not that into me... this weekend I hang out with a friend we will call "T". T is a really cool guy-good looking and all. I definitely know that there could be something between the two of us but what would it lead to? Talking to him allowed me to re-group and re-evaluate who I am. He allowed me to remember that I am a wonderfully and fearfully made creature; I am a powerful child of God; I am beautiful both inside and out; that the man that takes me to be his wife will have found a good thing and that any man who is not able to appreciate these facts is not worthy of my love.

One of the things about T however, is that it is unclear whether he actually broke up with his girlfriend or not. They dated for about 2/3 years. When ppl date for that long it is always hard to just break up and move on. In spiritual terms you have a soul tie with the other person (if you were physically involved) and you need to get rid of that attachment to the other person. So if he did break up with her, he would need to take a long break-you can't just jump out of one relationship and start another one! WHAT? Thats when it hit me- why am I advocating that T needs to take a long break before entering into a new relationship but cannot understand what B is doing- DOUBLE STANDARD.

In my defense this is how I see it, I am all for B taking a break and deciding for himself what is important to him. I would not want to be with a person who was not ready to be in a committed relationship with me. My only concern is what exactly is he doing during this time? If you are hanging out with your friends and getting closer to God I am all for that. However, if you are trying to date/ talk to every girl just because this might be your last opportunity to do so I have a problem with that. First off by doing that you are increasing the number of soul ties you will be bringing into your marriage and secondly you are going down a path you might not be able to come back from. You might be inviting many temptations and perversions into your future marriage.

That realization has come to light for me, so what do I do now? While I was thinking this last night I got a text from B. He was saying that he thought he had sent me a text on Friday and was wondering why I didn't reply however, he saw that the message was still in his outbox. I gave him a sort of abrasive reply this morning (because I am still growing). I am learning not to make someone a priority in my life when I am just an option in theirs. However, don't quote me because this is not in the Bible. I have to turn to God and ask him how I proceed? How do I show B that I care but also not be taken for granted? This is my prayer for today so help me God. Guide and direct my steps O'Lord. Grant me wisdom and understanding (comprehension and interpretation) in all matters. Proverbs chapters 1-4. To God belongs all the glory!

Good night
Always Faith

Family!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-16T20:35:00.000-08:00

Good evening,

Family can't live with them but can't live without them either. Why is it that the ones you love so much-you tend to hurt the most or vice versa they tend to hurt you the most. Just had an argument with my sister. These days we argue quite frequently however, I will say that at the end of the day we still talk to each other. I (and I guess her as well) am caught in two roles. On the one hand I am her sister but on the other I also have to act like her parent-the lines get blurry sometimes hence the confusion.

In my parent role I have to be firm and not treat her like a friend but in the sister role she is my friend. So how am I expected to play both parts well? If I do one part well I am consired bad in the other. Help me God.

Things that I am realizing on a daily basis:
-life is a constant learning experience
-you have got to take time out of ur busy schedule to appreciate what is around you or before you know it your life will be over
-with time you can always tell who your true friends are
-life is what you make of it (if you include God)
-with God everyday can be joyous
-it is wonderful to have the peace of God

Tonight I will be pray for a stronger relationship with my sister-one that has more understanding and cooperation. God it is in your hands.

Good night :)
Faith

Clarity Finally :)

2009-02-14T22:04:00.000-08:00

Wednesday February 4th 2009 was B's birthday. I have a couple of issues with this. Let me give you some background. This date sort of marked our one year anniversary of "hanging out" or whatever you want to call it. It was the first time we went out last year-I took him out for his birthday and likewise he did the same on my birthday (but that is a whole other story....next time). I'm trying to do things a little differently this year so that I don't make the same mistakes again. B and I are not dating so I found it awkward to ask him to do something on his actual birthday incase he had other plans. So I sent him a text in the morning saying

"Happy birthday. My prayer for you today is that God will continue to bless you with long life, you will discover God's greatness for your life & that God will grant u the desires of your heart. (Also, that He improves your communication skills lol- I know that's a selfish 1). Always Faith.

Good one right-well that's what I thought. He thanked me for it and that was about it. Last year he forgot to call me on my actual birthday but called me the next day. As you can imagine I was not having it- he text me, then once he figured I was not texting him back he called to apologize. I guess I thought I had gotten over the hurt but in actuality I had not and that is why I decided to text him instead of calling. In the evening when leaving work the "bigger side" of me got in control and told me to call-I was better than what I was trying to portray. I called but he didn't pick up. Later that evening he called me back. We had the usual small talk and he told me he hadn't done anything for his birthday-he just wanted to chill and reflect; instead he would go out over the weekend. The conversation was about to end but something inside me said I had to ask for answers so that my 2009 would not be like my 2008.

I just blurted it asking him what exactly was going on between the two of us? He then told me the whole long story. Apparently, since the time I met him he had been involved in an "on again, off again" relationship and had just finally broken up with the girl 4/5 months ago. I asked him what he told his ex he was doing when he and I would hang out? He said he didn't tell her anything because there was nothing going on. He went on to insist that 2008 was there rocky year and that things just weren't working out. He said he had dated the girl for two years. After the first year, the girl became insistant on where their relationship was going he flat out said she was not the woman he would marry. He said the relationship was just something he fell into and that from the beginning he knew it would not lead to another long term. At this I asked if he was one of those guys who just loved to "string" women along. He said that he was honest with the girl and let her know exactly how things stood from the beginning. However, the girl (like many of us) I guess thought he would change with time.

He said that so this time he wanted to enter into a relationship he thought had potential for marriage. He also said that he wanted a break of some sort to decide exactly what he wanted. He added that one of the reasons his last relationship did not work was because he was not ready for such a step. He said that there was definitely a potential for me and him however, this time he wanted to take things slow and do things the right way. At this I asked whether he expected me to wait around for him. He said of course he could not ask me to do such a thing. At last I felt relief, I was not paranoid-I heard it right from the horse's mouth: he had feelings for me just like I had for him. The only difference is that I have not dated for the last 2 years and I think I am now ready for a relationship but he is just beginning his break. So Lord help me with this challenge...what do you do when you have found him but he is not ready? For now I choose to focus on the relief I feel-it feels great not to debate with myself every second of every day.

So here is to 2009-the year of manifestations!

Faith

2009-I refuse to stay stagnant!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-26T10:17:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009 everyone! This is our year of manifestation-everything we have hoped and prayed for shall come to pass as long as we put God first and include Him in all our plans.

Today I was reading over my past journal entries and realized that I had been talking about B since 2007-wow 2 years (is this love or what?) That got me to thinking-I wish I could write a letter to him, honestly telling him how I feel. I decided to first post it as a blog before doing anything so drastic. Here is how my letter would go...............

Where do I begin? I honestly have to say that I thank God for having met you. I thank God for allowing me the privilege to get to know you. I met you at a time when I was still trying to break up with my ex. Then I only had eyes for him and could not see what was in front of me. Anyway, with the help of God I was finally able to realize that my ex was not what God had in store for me that was in February 2007.

From then on I set out on a journey of self discovery with God. I decided for once that I would let God order my dating steps because on my own I had failed miserably. What else did I have to lose- I would give God 2007 and if it didn't work I had the rest of my years? Little did I know that the rest of my life had to be worked on as well? At that point I still could not see what was in front of me.

Somewhere in the middle of 2007 without forethought or forewarning my physical eyes suddenly opened. I was able to see you. You came over one day to fix our computer and we talked. For the first time we actually truly talked-I found out about you-that you went to UM, what you did for a living and some of your likes and dislikes and we had dinner (do you remember that night?) However, my spiritual eyes were still closed and I could not see the whole of you.

As 2007 ended we continued as casual friends-I thank God for that now but didn’t at the time. The friendship allowed me to “un-biasedly” get to know you. As 2007 ended I was beginning to conclude that God had not fulfilled His end of the deal and I was wondering why? Hence I opened the door to confusion and doubt. In walked Mr Great but Muslim and Mr. Wise Friend. I met two of the nicest gentlemen in the world; they both showed me how a lady should be treated, how a gentleman should act but they were not you.

2008 rolled around and I was more confused than ever-how could I be at the same point a year later (or so I thought)? I ignored the fact that during this time God had allowed me to work on myself and prepare myself for you. During this time I was forced to decide what characteristics and attributes I wanted in my future husband and had to learn not to compromise. Once I did this your name was the only one left on the list. These were my biggest lessons of 2008.

In April as you know we started an organization at our church-I thought it was part of a way of me helping unite the young adults and did not fathom what doors it would open for me personally. The organization allowed me to see the God fearing side of you, the thoughtful side of you, the caring side of you, the inquisitive side of you, the partner side of you and the “I got your back” side of you. Again without forethought or forewarning my spiritual eyes were suddenly opened.

However, are your eyes open? Do you see me with your spiritual eyes let alone your physical eyes? Why do you fail to approach me? There is so much I have to tell you, so much I want to share with you, so much I want to experience with you however, there is this wall between us. Believe me I am scared too-I have never found myself in such a situation before now: - I don’t fall for guys they fall for me. I don’t approach guys they approach me. I can usually take hints but with you that approach has not worked with me. Sometimes I feel that we are on the same plan then something happens and you make a 180 degree turn.

I am tired of dating to date but I am also not ready to get married. I am looking for a friend to go on a journey of discovery of God’s purpose for both our lives. I have no idea how this will end but I trust God and I know that He has plans to give me a hope and a future thus if I stay in His Will it will be done. So please let me know how you feel so that I can see clearly both physically and spiritually. Either way I will always respect you and appreciate what we had/ what we can have.

Love
Faith

Maybe

2008-12-29T20:36:00.000-08:00

This is a fwd I received:

MAYBE Maybe. . we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe. . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe. . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe. . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe. . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe. . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe. . .there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe. . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe. . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe. . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe. giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe. . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe. . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe. . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe. . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Maybe. . . you could send this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life, to those who can and do make you smile when you really need it, to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, and to all those whom you want to know that you appreciate them and their friendship. And if you don't, don't worry; nothing bad will happen to you. You will just miss out on the opportunity to perhaps brighten someone's day.

NOT MY TIME BUT GOD'S TIME :)

2008-12-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long break. I thought when I started writing this blog it would be about me chronologically detailing how I moved into the next phase of my life. Little did I know that in a few weeks I would be facing the toughest month of 2008 (spiritually speaking). This month has tested me in ways I did not know were possible. At the beginning of the year we had a visiting pastor at my church he prophesied that October would be the month for my family and I. So I wrote it down to see if it would come to pass. So throughout the year I have been keeping this in mind. I was so excited when October started and was waiting for the manifestation to show up. I will tell you what showed up-financial issues at home, issues with B surfaced, issues with my job and issues at church-can you imagine even issues at church- I was being tested in all areas of my life. I felt so overwhelmed and defeated. I could not even begin to write my thoughts down on paper. Despite all these issues I am writing again, evidence that God will see you through all things and He will show you how powerful you can be when you allow Him to work in your life. Life will always throw you the unexpected but if you truly believe that God is a sovereign God, that He knows everything before it happens then you have to have the assurance and security that He will see you through everything you face.

Right now, I truly believe that B is the one for me. However, I know it is not the right time. How do I know this you may ask? Well I have prayed about it, fasted over it, questioned God numerous times and have received many signs. Don’t get me wrong I have had my moments of doubt and probably will still have many more. However, at the end of it all when I look into my life:- look at where I plan to go and see what doors God is opening he is still the face I see. In my moments of frustration I ask myself whether I am wasting time waiting for B. I mean he is all that I asked for and more:- he is after God’s heart, he is different-its hard to explain, he is a private person like I am. He is thoughtful, has a good heart and he is kind. However, it also aggravates me that I cannot read his mind; I definitely know he likes me but he does not really show it. I always feel like I have so much to tell him or that he has so much to tell me but there is this barrier between the two of us. It’s like both of us are scared of being hurt…letting down all our barriers or safe guards. I ask God to guide us and help us in this matter.

I also have the assurance from His word that in His time-not a second too early or too late His Will will be done in both our lives. Things don’t work out according to our own plans. I find myself frustrated and agitated when I try to make things work according to my power. I find myself giving B tests that I know in my heart he will fail-I guess to prove a point that he is just like the others. I know his weakness-it is phone calls-yet each time I tell myself I really want to talk to him I call and then get mad when he doesn’t pick up. If I really want a response from him I should text or talk to him in person when I have the opportunity. Please God help me in this area. According to your word it is the man that goes after the woman so help me be still. The next time I feel agitated and have to do something in a hurry help me breathe and seek You first O’God.

My prayer: O'God may Your Mighty works be done in our lives. Holy Spirit may we see your presence move in our lives now and forevermore. Gives us the strength we need each and everyday for your word says man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. You deserve all glory and all honor thank you for your continued mercies in the Mighty name of Jesus I pray with thanksgiving in my heart Amen and thank you.

Finally :)

2008-09-29T19:18:00.000-07:00

Good evening,

Yesterday I went on a date, this was a big deal for me because I have only had one other date this year lol (I know its a bit sad). Well not really, it partly just happened that way but was partly my conscious decision. I guess I was tired of just dating to date. I wanted my next dates to lead upto a meaningful relationship. I guess it was worth the wait. I have known this guy who I will call "B" for about two years now. At first I wasn't really interested in him but I thought he was interested in me so it was fun talking and chatting with him. He never made a blatant move. Anyway as time went on I found out more about him and became interested in him. I will admit it I was really shallow in the beginning-the first thing that caught my attention was his education, the fact that he was tall (I am quite tall so I appreciate a taller guy) and handsome also helped.

Anyway as time went on nothing serious ever happened between us we went out a couple of times but nothing major. During this time however, I got to know B in a lot of other ways. I found out that he is really grounded in the Lord, he greatly revers and fears the Lord, he is enthustiatic about the Lord and yearns to fully understand the word of the Lord and he is going to be a great leader in the church someday-I can tell from the way he speaks. Other attributes:He is very thoughtful,kind, treats his mother well and comes from a nice family.

Back to the date-I forgot to mention that B and I go to the same church and that is how we met. Anyway, I had been praying about the day we would finally get the chance to go out on a "date". This had been going on for so long-I had faith that it would happen but I know a part of me gave up. But as Ecclesiastes 3:1 and Habakkuk 2:2-3 says there is a season for every activity under heaven and the revelation awaits an appointed time..though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay respectively-- and yesterday was that day for me. We agreed to go and see a movie together. "B" came over a little early so we had a chance to talk and just chill-it was nice. Later we went to the movies, he was such a gentleman opened my door and all doors, paid for everything etc. There wasn't a big rainbow in the sky or fireworks but I really enjoyed myself and had a relaxed time-I couldn't help but feel that this is what all sunday evenings should be like. After the movie, he drove me back to my place, walked me to the door and gave me a............... hug (what were you expecting??) I told you he really was a gentleman.

If you couldn't already tell, I really enjoyed myself and it was worth the wait. I pray to God that he directs both our steps and guides us with the establishment of our relationship. I want this relationship to have God as its foundation. O'Lord please work on me-help me not carry the hurt emotions from my past relationships into this one.

Till I write again
Gnite
Faith

Dear God

2008-09-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

Dear God
For the past couple of days I have been in sort of a slump. Every so often I feel down and I can't explain this feeling. Sometimes I feel that I am not fulfilling my purpose here on earth. Thankfully today I woke up in a much better mood. I called off sick from work today and tomorrow because I need some real R&R (rest and relaxation) time. I am at that point in my life where I am asking what next? I have been out of school for two years now, work full time, travel a lot and currently single. Don't get me wrong I love the travel-I get to see so many different places and experience many different things. However, at the end of an assignment I come back to reality my home which is an empty apartment and can't help but wonder what is next for me? I guess I am at a cross roads in my life. However, I am not really despaired because I have been at this junction before. We all have dreams and expect our lives to go one way when the reality is that more often than not our lives turn out completely opposite-for the better anyway. I now realize that I have plans for my life but God's plans are always better. So when I come to a cross roads in my life I turn to God and ask for the strength, courage and guidance to follow his Will. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". It is with this scripture that I find solace and comfort in knowing that God is always there for me even when I am not there for myself. I will sign off here, till next time...........................................................

Getting Started

2008-09-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

I am so excited about starting this blog. So here goes nothing.............................................................